They usually paint Ryanair flights and those of all other low-cost carriers as hell.
The seats are small, there is no legroom, the hostesses are ugly and borderless, I cannot travel with my suitcase, the printed ticket is required, they do not have assigned seats etc, etc…
In part it is true … in fact the president of Ryanair has come to say publicly that they would change their policy based on “I do what I want because I am the cheapest” to “I am still the cheapest and I will try to like you.”
If I have to be honest, I have always preferred the old Ryanair policy, that of “if you like it well, if you don’t go by bus”.
I am very sorry for those who think that global aviation has already been barbarized, but I have taken hundreds of low-cost flights and have learned to enjoy them as if it were a limousine trip. Here are some tips for traveling with Ryanair and other low-cost companies in comfort.
Arrive on time
We are all very busy, and we always try to get there breaking the minute. I have arrived many times passing the control with the ground hostesses who scolded me, after running through the kilometer-long corridors of T1 de Barajas and apologizing to everyone for jumping the queue of control screaming with raised hands “My flight leaves in 5 minutes”.
Lately I have changed my way of traveling, and I have to say that I enjoy it more. I leave well in advance, so I don’t get nervous:
if there is a traffic jam just on the way to the airport.
if at the airport there is a queue of 1000 people at the control and there are only two open barriers.
if the passenger who is right in front of me at the control barrier forgets to take off her boots, belt, jacket, earrings, necklace, wig and fake tits …
People who continue to carry liters of wine and beer in their suitcases (and they have been banned for 10 years).
Now … I don’t do like my mother, who wants to be at the airport 2 hours before “just in case”.
I calculate it this way:
– If the flight leaves at 10am, the doors close at 9:30.
– If I estimate it takes 30 minutes to get to the airport, I add 50 minutes of unforeseen events.
– If it is rush hour, I add up to 70 minutes.
So I try to leave for the airport at 8:10. (7:50 if at rush hour).
– I leave at 7:50 (or 8:10).
– I arrive at 8:40 at the latest
– I cross the airport, the various controls and at 9:00 am I am in front of the boarding gate.
I usually arrive only 30 minutes before the closing time, which allows me to stop by the store and get free perfume or open the laptop and write some cool article like this.
At the same time, I enjoy seeing people in the control queue who get nervous, because they think they are late and they don’t know that the closing time of the shipment they usually announce is never the closing time, but rather the opening time.
We have said it millions of times and we don’t want to repeat ourselves… you can already find advice here:
People do not want to learn, and every time I fly I meet people who travel with huge suitcases and start arguing with the land stewardesses who do not understand why they cannot get on a plane with a suitcase that measures a jug, and it seems unacceptable that they have to pay 40 euros more.
For starters, if you buy a trolley, check the measurements!
But if you really want to avoid problems, travel with a backpack, because it is much less likely that you will be tagged to board the suitcase down.
I have a convertible trolley … and I can travel for weeks without needing anything else!
Last board the flight
It brings me “good luck”. If someone arrives later than me I let them pass. I always want to be the last to go up.
I choose my seat
It is a direct consequence of the previous point: if I go up last I have the privilege of choosing the seat.
Why? So I can choose the seat to sit on. As soon as I walk through the door, as people scramble to leave their briefcase in space, I look down row 16-17 which are often the emergency rows of the Boeing 747 (Ryanair’s standard aircraft). Rows 16 17 are now sold as a bonus at check-in for many airlines, and they often remain empty … but they cannot remain empty. So you can tell the stewardesses if you can sit there and calmly they will say yes! Or sit there directly and nobody will tell you anything.
Also, if the plane is not complete (in Ryanair’s case), rows 3 and 4 going up through the front door, and rows 27 and 28, going up through the back doors, are usually empty.
All of the above is not valid if there is a beautiful girl and her seat next to it is free. A flight of 1 or 2 hours is usually the best to flirt, because it cannot escape you!
Maybe this is why they started assigning seats.
Hide your suitcase
The problem with uploading the last one is that there may no longer be room for more bags on the plane, so they will try to put a ticket on your suitcase to board it downstairs, so you may lose 20 minutes at your arrival airport to get it back, or even lose it.
To avoid this I usually try to hide the suitcase, or if I have the convertible trolley that turns into a backpack, I put it on my shoulders.
Only 1 time they hunted me until now… and since I have the convertible almost none!
If when you are already in the aisle of the plane you have problems putting the suitcase, it is enough that you look a little at the stewardess with lost eyes. She, to avoid being responsible for the delayed take-off of the plane, can choose between the following options:
- Take any backpack or coat that is in the trunk and give it to their owners, so they can put it under the seat.
- Put your suitcase in a space that was kept closed for last minute problems.
- Put your suitcase in its space.
- Put your suitcase behind the last row of seats (it’s always free!).
- Send you to take for sack.
Enjoy the flight and the views
If I am next to the window, if I travel during the day and if there are no clouds … I spend hours looking out the window enjoying the bird’s eye view: I love to see the urban planning on the outskirts of the departure cities, I start Guess the cities we are “sucking” (when I get home I check on flight radar). I admire the coast and the islands, enjoying the adrenaline rush I have when passing near the snowy Alps, thinking that my flight could be stamped there like in the movie “Alive”.
In many cases I get it … and it is the best. If I’m sleepy, I try to choose and sit in a totally empty row of seats … well, I don’t cut myself in the least and I don’t care what they think … What does this young man in a suit do who acts like a bum. In other words, I raise my hands-rests, take off my shoes, put on my jacket, a sweater as a pillow … and go to sleep. It is the best way for the flight to pass in a little while.
Download the last
Don’t be in a hurry! Everyone on landing gets nervous as if they were on the subway. Keep sleeping if you can, and stay seated until the people in line in front of you are out.
Just as I do not understand the people who line up to get on the flight, I do not understand why they are in a hurry to get off when they are in row 20 and they have about 100 people who will leave before they do.
If I am in the hall and the one on my side wants to go out, I play dumb, and when I let him pass he has no place in the hall … so in the end he remains seated.
Well, nothing, I think I’m done with this article, and my flight is about to land, so I hope you can follow these tips and enjoy low-cost flights like you’ve never done …
And don’t get up when the plane lands, enjoy texting!